Without You Here
by FlirtatiousHeart
Summary: Peyton is pregnant but there are some difficulties during the pregnancy. As Peyton lies in the hospital Brooke reflects upon their relationship over the years and considers what her life would be like without Peyton. Breyton.
1. I'm Afraid Of Losing You

**Okay so it's been a while since I've updated anything but I'm back with a new one now! I will update the others soon hopefully and I just want to thank anyone that reads anything I write. It means a lot to me.  
I don't own anything to do with One Tree Hill, that my friends all belongs to Mr. Mark Schwahn. And the title of the chapter is a song by A Rocket To The Moon.  
Let me know what you think :)**

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**Chapter 1: I'm Afraid Of Losing You**

She'd never liked hospitals. Every time that she entered one she was overcome with an unbearable feeling that she was about to lose someone that she loved, someone that had changed her life for the better. Only now did Brooke Davis truly understand that fear. Only now as her family lay in a hospital bed, lingering between the thin veil that separated life and death, did she really understand why Peyton Sawyer hated hospitals. The idea that you could enter them with a happy, loving family intact and leave with it destroyed was something that the young brunette hadn't ever fully considered in her twenty three years of life. Only when she had spoken to Peyton about her fears had she ever vaguely thought about her own. She knew of course how a single hospital visit could dramatically change a person's life, she had just chosen to live in naivety, believing instead that something like that would never happen to her.

Now, as she sat alone looking around the hospital waiting area through tired eyes, she realised how wrong that assumption had been. Nobody had come yet. Lucas, Haley, Nathan, Mia, Larry. She'd told them all and she knew they were on their way but a part of her wished they wouldn't come. She didn't want their pity or sympathy. She needed to be strong for Peyton. For the baby. The only reason she had told them about what happened was because the rational side of her knew that they deserved to know. They were her family after all, Peyton's family.

Brooke pulled her hand through her tattered, unkept hair as she sunk further into the consuming loneliness that she feared she would soon become accustomed to. Hours had past by without a word from the doctors, every attempt she had made to get some information out of the nurses or the doctors was simply ignored until she eventually gave up on asking and resigned herself to waiting for something newsworthy to happen. It didn't make her feel any better to know what was happening than it did to be unaware anyway, at least when she was unaware of Peyton's current condition she could imagine that the blonde was going to miraculously recover. It made it easier to dream that things were how they should be, that Peyton was lying in her arms once again and they were happy, safe and healthy. But as doctors and nurses hurried past her with stretchers of dying patients, she would remember that that was just a memory of a better time, a memory that she wasn't sure would ever be a reality again.

One way or another they were always going to be in each other's lives, Brooke had just always thought that they would have more time. Now every safety she had ever felt with the blonde, every assurance that they would always be in each others lives, had dissipated, replaced by a new fear that she would loose her best friend and be alone forever. That she would never be able to hear her laugh or see her smile or feel her close again. More than anything else she was terrified by the thought of not being able to tell Peyton how much she meant to her, how much she loved her and how grateful she was to her for giving her this child.

It wasn't fair. A few months ago Brooke had thought that all her dreams were coming true, that she was about to get the family that she had always wanted, only to be faced with her world crashing down around her as she watched her best friend being pulled through a hospital on a stretcher away from her. Her heart was breaking as she thought about the beautiful blonde woman that held her heart. She couldn't loose her. Not now that they were about to become a family.

As the tears stung her eyes, threatening to fall, Brooke took a long, ragged breathe trying to calm her shaking body that was wracked with anxiety and fear. All she could think about was how her life would be without Peyton. How she would be constantly depressed and alone, shut away from everyone that cared about her. How she would be a failure of a mother to their child, just like Victoria had been to her. Chocking back a sob, Brooke vowed that regardless of what happened to Peyton she would never treat her child the way her mother had treated her. No matter how painful raising Peyton's child would be she would do it properly because it was a part of Peyton and it was a part of her now too. It was _their_ child.

Silent tears streamed down the pale cheek of the brunette who sat numbly in the cold plastic of the hospital waiting room chairs wondering which would come first, her friends or the doctors that would bring her news that would likely change her life forever. Never before had Brooke Davis been as petrified as she was at the thought of living a life without Peyton Sawyer. She had never considered what it would be like until this had happened. For her, it was always going to be the two of them against the world, together forever.

Though it was fifteen years ago, Brooke remembered perfectly the first time that she had realised that Peyton Sawyer would always be a part of her life. They where only eight years old but as she held Peyton in her arms, consoling her over her mothers death, she just knew that she would never be able to let her go. And now that she face the very real possibility of losing Peyton, Brooke wondered what she would do if she had to.


	2. Look After You

Thanks for all the reviews everyone, I'm glad you liked the first chapter! For everyone who was asking about my other stories, yes I am planning on continuing them just need to find some time to write. Should have an update on one of them within the next two weeks though. Anyway this chapter title is an amazing song by The Fray.  
Let me know what you think of it.

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**Chapter 2: Look After You  
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Fifteen years ago._

It had been a difficult day for everyone. Losing someone was never easy but losing somebody so kind hearted and jovial as Anna Sawyer left everyone with the feeling that there was something missing. That the large space in their hearts and lives that Anna had occupied would soon be replaced by some darkness or emptiness. The priest had spoken about how good of a person Anna had been during her life and how this loss would have a devastating effect on the town of Tree Hill, for Anna had been the type that was everyone's friend, the type of person that would offer a stranger help if they looked as though they needed it. Of course Brooke knew this kindness of Anna all too well. The woman had treated her like she was her own daughter and had paid her more attention and given her more love than her own parents ever had. It crushed Brooke to know that she had lost the woman who had been like a mother to her but when she thought about Peyton and how the youngest Sawyer must be feeling it broke her young heart.

It had been about an hour since the service and all the mourners had returned to the Sawyer household in order to grieve and remember the goodness of Anna together. As soon as they had arrived Peyton had ran upstairs to her room much to the dismay of Brooke, whose hand was locked in her mothers vice like grip as they followed Larry into the living room area. For the majority of the hour Brooke had been subjected to listening to her parents speaking with friends of the Sawyer's about how it wasn't Anna's time and how hard this must be for Larry. She hadn't liked it when someone had brought up the topic of Peyton and the possibility that she would move away to stay with her grandparents. It was only when Richard and Victoria Davis, Deb Scott and Whitey Durham began discussing the young blonde girl that Brooke was able to escape. It was her father who told her to go and find Peyton to make sure she was okay, even though her mother had wanted to keep her with them so they could pay their respects and leave. Even though she was only eight years old Brooke could tell that her mother hated her best friend, though she did not understand why.

As Brooke made her way through the mourners she saw Larry standing at the bottom of the stairs. Just as Anna had been a mother to her, Larry was a father. As he looked up the stairs, unsure of whether to check on his daughter or give her some space, Brooke stopped at his side, simply staring at the same spot Larry was. A two stood silently for a moment, neither knowing what to do in the situation but both wanting to see the young blonde. After a moment, Larry gently placed his hand on Brooke's shoulder and looked down at her with a grateful smile. Knowing that this meant she would be the one to check on Peyton, she reciprocated the appreciative smile before making her way up to the blonde's room as Larry returned to the living room to inform the Davis' that Brooke would be staying here for the night.

It was eerily quiet upstairs in the house, Brooke couldn't even hear the noise from the people downstairs and it scared her to know that Peyton had been sitting in this silence with only cruel, haunting thoughts as company. Carefully she opened the door, instantly knowing that Peyton was in an extremely bad way as she rarely ever closed it except for when she was going to sleep. A thin shaft of light filtered into the room and Brooke slid in, noticing the bump beneath the bed covers.

"Peyton?" Brooke's soft voice broke through the silence in the room. As she stood in the doorway of her best friends room awaiting some sort of response, the young brunette girl wondered for a moment if the blonde was asleep, though soon thought better of this knowing Peyton well enough to know that she would be too upset to sleep.

Without a second of hesitation the small brunette had closed the door and crossed the room to the bed where her best friend lay. Blonde curls poked out from beneath the covers as Brooke crawled under them towards Peyton's body. She could hear the blonde's soft cries now, they were slightly stifled by the pillow that she had buried her head in but Brooke could still hear them and it hurt her to see her best friend like that.

For a moment Brooke allowed Peyton to sob as she wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist. The small blonde body shuddered against the brunettes as she choked out the tears, her throat raw and her eyes red. In the moments of silence, Brooke felt her becoming calmer in her arms. She knew that the blonde felt safer now, no longer alone in the world.

"Peyton, I want you to know that I'm always going to be here," Brooke's voice was quiet and soft but loud enough for the heart broken blonde to hear. "We have to stay friends forever because you're always gonna need someone to remind you how great your mom was," Each word was picked with caution and care and each was filled with love and sincerity. "So, you can close your door, turn off the light, pull the covers over your head and try to escape as much as you want but I'm always gonna come after you," The blonde felt her best friends slender arms tighten around her and was grateful for the safety they brought, the calmness it gave her. Brooke's voice was lower than before and Peyton could hear it strain as it did whenever the brunette tried to hold back tears. "I owe at least that much to your mom,"

The blonde then turned to her smaller brunette friend. Through the darkness she could see the tears in her hazel eyes, even as Brooke tried to hide them. Peyton began to cry again, less violently now as a strange calm overcame her at the knowledge that at least one thing in her life would be constant. She rested her head on Brooke's shoulder, considering the promise that had just been made, and as Brooke's fingers gently stroked through her blonde curls, she knew that she was lucky to have this kind hearted girl in her life as the rest of her world crashed around her.

They stayed like that until morning, when Larry Sawyer came into his daughter's room to wake the pair up for breakfast. It was as he saw the two girls sleeping next to one another that, Brooke's arms protectively wrapped around his daughter, that he knew too that Brooke and Peyton would forever be a part of each others lives.


End file.
